Marital Relationship Abuse ~ Sponsors, Symptoms And Solutions
| Joe Igboanugo | www.marriagerest.com |
One of the key aspects of abuse is persistent patterns –a system of power and control; a calculated degrading of another person. Abuse includes a purposeful mindset and destructive behaviors aimed at hurting another emotionally, psychologically, physically, mentally and otherwise.
Anyone can be an abuser. They come from all groups, all cultures, all tribes, all religions, all economic levels, all social status and all backgrounds.
Abusers are generally law-abiding outside the home.
An abuser may be generally pleasant and friendly; is often seen as a &nice person& to others outside the relationship.
Sponsors of Marital Relationship Abuse
1. Lack Of Empathy
Ability to see and evaluate others’ flaws and insecurities.
Empathy has an emotional component to it and comes with care for and sharing of others’ feelings.
2. Absence Or Disregard Of Boundaries In Relationships.
Boundaries provide us with 3 important qualities in our marriage:
Freedom.. to pursue our dreams and aspirations, but only within the confines of an understood relationship.
Protection.. assuring that the wellbeing of partners are mutually protected
Clarified Responsibilities.. sometimes problems occur when one partner takes up a responsibility as a gift to their union, but the other sees it as a duty.
3. Childhood Environmental Distortions.
Growing up in a toxic family environment.
4. High Desire For Revenge.
Low tolerance for being hurt or high tolerance for aggression
1 Peter 3:9 not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.
5. Pathological Hatred Out Of Past Hurt
6. Demonic influence.
7. Drug/substance indulgence.
Types Of Abuse
Perpetrators of abuse commit violence against someone with whom they share their life with. This violence is not always physical alone.
1. Physical
Attack or threat to attack with a weapon or bare fist or threat to take life or harm..
2. Emotional
Undermines the partner’s feelings of self-worth. Blackmails the partner who always &apologizes& for peace to reign..
3. Sexual
Forcing painful or degrading acts during intercourse. Can you imagine a partner insisting on anal sex!
Threat to break up if sex is refused or denying married partner conjugal right over a long period of time, especially without a cogent reason like ill-health.
4. Economic
Limiting a partner’s financial freedom.
Often denies permission to work. Abandoning financial responsibility of the family to one partner.
5. Mental
Verbal or psychological.
James 3:6 &And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.&
Cursing
Derogatory remarks.
Insults or humiliates partner before children, or other people.
Keeps partner isolated from relatives and friends, or
Controls actions and movements.
6. Religious
Manipulates with revelations and prophecies.
Uses religious excuses to evade matrimonial obligations.
Effects Of Abuse
Erodes Self Esteem
Abused person can lose sense of personhood.
Victim Mentality
Always thinks she/he is wrong all the time.
Loses real self confidence and assertiveness.
Traumatic Conditions
Any serious injury to the body, often resulting from violence or an accident. An emotional wound leading to psychological injury.
Can Lead To Separation Or Divorce
Broken homes and dysfunctional children.
How To We Identify Abuse & Abusers
Abusers are quick to blame their partners each time things go wrong.
Extreme jealousy
Possessiveness
Unpredictable personality
A bad temper
Caustic tongue
Extremely controlling and domineering behavior
Practical Actions Against Abuse
Take Charge of yourself!
Don’t loose whom you are because of what you pass through
Take Care of your soul!
Your emotions.
Your will: Determine to live. Never resign to depression.
Tell Someone!
Talk to God about it first and continuously. 1 Peter 5:7 &Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.& Healing begins with the Holy Spirit.
Speak out: Don’t die in silence.
Get Help!
Seek for a counselor or therapist
Possibly, law enforcement or rights protection agency
| www.marriagerest.com |
