I had to fix a flat tire on my electric bike the other day, so I needed to go to the company’s website to figure out, How do I get this tire (which also houses the motor) off? How do I first disengage the disc brake? And how do I get it all back on and not have it come apart when I am going down the road at twenty- eight miles an hour? When I finally got Humpty-Dumpty back together again, to my eternal frustration, the tire was wobbling. But I didn’t want to take it to a bike store. Ain’t nobody got time for that. So I googled How do you fix wobble in tire? and wouldn’t you know . . . there’s a video for that on YouTube.
There are many options but, as far as I am concerned, only one good choice.
Sometimes our marriages can wobble, too, and we’ve got to turn somewhere for help. There are many options but, as far as I am concerned, only one good choice. The B-I-B-L-E. (That’s the book for me.) I am so thankful that God wrote a book. And He has a whole lot to say about marriage. He doesn’t want your relationship to wobble, or go flat, or for your brakes to squeak. He wants to save you the relational heartache of flying over the handlebars or ending up stranded by the side of the road picking bits of asphalt out of your road rash.
God, who made the world, wrote to you about marriage. He hasn’t left you scrambling without instructions. He cares about marriage. He invented it! He gave marriage to us as a gift. It’s a blessing, and it’s from Him. Let’s keep that in mind as we talk about marriage. God made it; therefore, He should be the One to tell us how to use it. And since it’s God- given it should be God- governed.
Scripture’s teaching on marriage is that you and your spouse are supposed to complement each other, not complete each other or compete with each other. You weren’t half a person before you got married, and your spouse doesn’t make you whole. They are not your opponent; they are your teammate and your partner.
Because of relationships we see in movies, we can find our-selves thinking the opposite is true: When I meet the person of my dreams, that person is going to complete me, and everything will just be dreamy. However, we quickly learn that even the most amazing, successful, good-looking, and Christlike spouse can’t fill every weakness or meet every need in our lives. No person is capable of that.
I don’t have the equipment, wherewithal, or hardware to complete Jennie. She has to find that in God. When she does, I can complement her; I’m going to be strong in some areas where she’s weak (and vice versa).
But when we make the mistake of expecting our spouses to complete us, we put a huge burden on them. And, hey, marriage is already hard without those kind of expectations. Life is hard. It’s challenging. We are basically two sinners living together in close proximity all the time. That other person never goes away. It has the makings of a cage match. If we’re not approaching each other with the right spirit, we’ll start looking to our spouses to do something only God can do.
If you came into marriage with expectations that your spouse would be your savior, who would complete you and fix you, know that God will lead you away from that misguided belief if you ask Him. That’s a lot of pressure to put on any human— but God can take it. He wants to take it. He says, “Come to Me with your neediness, then let Me guide you in making your marriage beautiful. Love Me. Respect Me. And then give to your spouse from the overflow I give you.” Only God’s shoulders can handle the weight of your soul.
Genesis 1:27 tells us that God made men and women “in His own image” to crave relationship and thrive in relationship. God’s purpose for marriage goes all the way back to Adam and Eve, when He created it. Genesis 2:22 says, “the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” And in today’s verse we see that when God joins a man and woman in marriage, “they are no longer two, but one flesh.” God brought the first two people together in marriage so they could have a complementary relationship— and so He could launch an epic rescue operation through it. Clearly God cares about marriage. And He cares about yours.
Prayer
Father God, the simple fact that You care about marriage changes everything. And You not only care but You are also the answer to our every need and struggle. You empower us to do the impossible. Together we choose to submit to You, and we choose to follow Your plan for us. Show us how You alone complete us and how we complement each other in a unique and beautiful way. In Jesus’ name, amen.
