Marriage Restoration International

Interestingly, you can make your communication an investment or an expenditure.
The commonest but most potent daily input you can make into the life of your partner and the
wellbeing of your relationship are the words you speak.
Communication to a large extent determines the longevity, ease and direction of a relationship.
Prov.18.20-21 “A man’s belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase
of his lips shall he be filled. Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it
shall eat the fruit thereof.”
Criticism, fault finding and the likes tend to bring out the “worst” in us. Prov.15.4 – “A wholesome
tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.”
What actually determines the results of communication is how you say what you intend to say.
Col.4.6 – “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye
ought to answer every man.”
Three Traditional Variants Of Communication:
#talkingTO:
When we issue instructions in form of command or demand without any element of courtesy or
respect. Like a boss or disgruntled mate. This generates deteriorated self esteem in the partner.
#talkingAT:
When we throw words at each other without listening or allowing a corresponding response from
partner. This is sponsored mainly by selfishness and is in charge of quarrel and arguments.
#talkingWITH:
When we talk and allow our partner the opportunity for willing response. We exchange our inner
feelings with partner through words and body expressions. We respect the intelligence of our
partner in discussion. This sponsors quality interaction and grows relationships.
Three Investment Qualities Of Good Communication
If you always say to your spouse the kind of that bring out the best in him or her you will always
experience the best dividends out of your marriage.
Imaginative Communication:
Always be open to the imagination of your spouse’s situation during interaction. “Put yourself in
your partner’s shoes” before talking.
• This implies quick appraisal of your partner’s emotional, psychological, physiological and
spiritual balance before say what you intend to say. (Ezek 3:15).
• Imaginative communication is driven by empathy, edits criticism and forbids condemnation.
Stock Enhancement Communication:
Always say to your spouse the kind of words that stir up the best in them and reinforces self
esteem.
• Appreciations, affirmations, sincere compliments, an expression, remark or action which
expresses approval, admiration, or honor for your partner. Proverbs.16.24 – “Pleasant words are
as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”
• Stock enhancement communication forbids harshness and vituperations
Wholesome Communication:
Make it a graceful habit to always edify your partner in all your communication. It doesn’t matter
what your subject is, convey it with love and wisdom. “Say the truth in love.” (Proverbs 15:4)
Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is
good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”
• Wholesome communication forbids cursing and verbal abuse!

HOW TO GET THE BEST OUT OF MARITAL COMMUNICATION –